i know i'll wait all day for you.

i wish i wasn't always a sucker. 

i  may always speak sarcastically. 

but really i wear my heart on my sleeve. 

and your breaking it. 

i'm always waiting for people. 

i always believe in people. 

i believe people even when i 

know they're lying. 

and i hate myself. 

i hate you for making me this way. 

i just always wanted to believe in you. 

i wanted to believe you really wanted me. 

so i started believing  everyone. 

i have high hopes even though they always get crushed. 

even though in the back of my mind i'm always telling 

myself that it will never happen. 

i can't help the ignorance in me.  

i'm scared to call because i 

don't want to be "overzealous"  

yeah i know what that means. 

ever since that day i get scared 

to become too attached to anyone. 

i try not to be too nice to anyone 

because i don't want anyone to ever 

think that about me again. 

"would it kill you to care as much as i did?"

you make me feel alone.

your making me cry. 

it really does hurt when you say those things. 

i know i lie. 

i know i judge. 

i just need someone who knows its worth it with me. 

someone who believes there's more then that in me. 

i barely lie anymore. 

and its not my fault i judge. 

you don't know everything about like i think you think you do. 

dumbass.

hold my face to the sun.

dear you, 

you could never understand the troubles 

going on in my head. 

i am so alone is this.  

i'm glad

that we're only friends. 

because all this time thats all i've really wanted. 

boys like to cut shit open.

stupid stupid boy preying on something that isn't yours 

when you should be praying for something that could be yours.

but from the beginning yes i knew you were different. 

and you defiently proved it again today. 

you asked me if i was okay 

and apologized a few million times. 

thats my favorite song right there. 

i don't know if its a sign or just a misunderstanding. 

either you've been a great distraction 

and when this week is over i don't know 

how things are going to be anymore. 

but thanks for everything. 

even shooting stars fall.

i am a sinking ship. 

sinking. 

i was a racing my emotions. 

trying to beat the fear following me. 

and i was doing well until i got tired. 

i was trying to be a better actress and 

i was doing well until i got sick of lying. 

i don't feel well.